Resolution: stop yelling!!!!

Obviously, I'm a yeller.

Until recently, I didn't think there was anything wrong with it. I thought it was normal to yell and had never entertained the idea that I needed to change. In the house I grew up, we frequently yelled; we yelled when we argued; we yelled when we were excited;  just to stress a point in a happy conversation; in family debates about religion, politics and who shot Mr Burns - just to get a word in. Neighbours may have heard us yelling to each other about what time we were leaving for the restaurant instead of walking to each other to have a normal volumed conversation. Half of us had hearing difficulties - whether the cause or the effect, I can't say.

Maybe because yelling hasn't always been a negative thing for me I've never given it much thought, that is, until now. Now that I have one spirited three year old, a opponent with so much less power than myself (not to mention the rapid move towards high densely housing) that what I thought of as just my un-demure tom girl nature I now see as a bad habit I must change quickly.


If you were at my house today, you would have covered your ears to:

"Don't cover baby's face with a blanket!" "Don't lie to me!" "Respond to me when I talk to you! Don't just stare at me when i ask you if you want to get out of the tub! I asked you nicely three times. Do I have to yell before I get a response?"

I think the answer is yes if I make it so. I don't want my little Dot to think that only when I yell is what I'm saying important or for her to have to break a habit to properly parent her little ones or for her to be considered loud and unladylike.

So I'm writing this post to resolve to the world I'm going to quit yelling.

When I told my friends about my yelling woes and started reading the forums I was so surprised to learn that there were households where no one ever yelled. I don't think I've quite gotten over the shock cause I'm writing about it here. How do these folks manage their anger?

Anyway here's the plan:

1. Not withdraw from 'patience bank' for the following things -

            - House renovation work (limit to Wednesdays only)
            - Dirty dishes and clean house (except Fridays and Saturdays cause we have open house)
            - Resentment for skipped meals, unbrushed teeth cause you think you don't have time
            - Requests when exhausted (say no and stay firm against whinging)

2. Increase my patience bank:

            - Find time to get a hair cut when needed
            - Have monthly facials

3. If Dot isn't listening I'll put my hand on her shoulder and wait for eye contact so I don't need to yell.

4. Stop being physically lazy and physically assist instead of barking orders like a mad woman.

Well, we shall see how I go.